My TBR Is Side-Eyeing Me And I Can’t Side-Eye Back

I don’t know about you all but my TBR (To Be Read) is crazy… I thought we were so happy together but I was blissfully ignorant to the fact that it felt differently. One day, I was walking past it and I just felt this wave of judgment and scorn…but there was no one else around… That’s when I looked at my TBR and realized……..it was SIDE-EYEING ME! How can a stack of Books possibly side-eye someone? I have no idea but this is the energy I felt from it! And the thing is…I can’t even Side-eye it back! This hurts the most because I love every opportunity to serve up a hot plate of side-eye, complete with eye-rolling and snide comments to go with it (nom, nom, nom)!

We look good together…right?! I thought we did when I took this picture…I was madly in love with it then…but now I feel intimidated by it and I’m not sure if I should…could love & intimidation go hand-in-hand in this case? I thought we were in such a good place buuuuuuttttt…I don’t think we are if I’m getting side-eyed every time I walk past…it’s like that wife looking at her partner as if they are cheating on them! I swear, I have not cheated on my TBR…I haven’t jumped a book to the top of the pile since A Queen Of Gilded Horns by Amanda Joy, a sequel I waited 2 years for (see blog post about AQOGH Here)! Wait, that’s a lie, I jumped Sure, I’ll Be Your Black Friend by Ben Philippe to the top because it came out yesterday (4/27) and I believe heavily in reading books before they come out if I receive them early! I know, I know, I KNOW it’s no excuse but I can try not to do it again…I really really can *puppy dog eyes and pleading hands*!

Don’t we look happy together? I thought we were happy, I truly did! I really do try to show my TBR love by moving as quickly as possible through reads…but I guess I’m not a fast enough reader *deep sigh*. Not only do I have this physical TBR but I also have an E-TBR that I feel screams for attention like a Side-Chick on Valentine’s Day! I PROMISE that my E-TBR is not a side-chick to my physical TBR (at least, I don’t consider it to be 0_0). But see, what had happened was…It’s just that the ARCs (Advanced Reader Copies) that I have physically come out before some of my E-ARCs! I have a list of ARCs written down where they are listed in order of release (I’m THAT type of ARC reader) in an attempt to be fair. You have got to believe me *drops to my knees and begs*! I’m trying to give them equal attention… and failing miserably it seems. Now we can see why I’m not a poly reader…I can only dedicate myself to one book/world at a time, to which I see no shame in…but I think my TBR feels very differently about this matter.

I thought my TBR was making kissy faces with me but it seems that I was wrong…and I don’t know how to make this right. How do I even begin to make it up to my TBRs?! They have to know how much I love them, right? Right?! *shakes slightly* I give them as much attention as I possibly can…I stare at them in admiration…I pick up a book or click one when it’s its time to be read…. what more could I possibly dooooooooo?! Someone help me…*Marlon Wayans’ voice* help me, help me PUHLEASEEEEEEEE! And the problem is that I can’t NOT acquire new books! How would I write this blog or support Authors Of Color?! I just might be in borderline addiction territory……………..before you say anything, HUSH, let me have my moment of delusion! This is clearly a bookish person’s struggle and the cross we have to bare *wall slides*.

I thought we were having a prom type moment here in my comfy house slippers and in the house pants…the level of comfort here could’ve been #RelationshipGoals if it was reciprocated! I thought we were better than this…that I was giving it all I’ve got…but I guess it just isn’t enough because It keeps side-eyeing me! Even though I’ve read some of the ARCs at the top of the pile since I took these pictures…new books have been added to the pile thanks to Independent Bookstore Day & pre-orders and I feel us both wailing together! This should be a bonding point for both of us but I think we must be wailing for two different reasons…my TBRs because books may get pushed back and me because I worry when I will get to it! I really am trying to do better and show my TBRs that I love them so so so very much! I also have to say that my E-TBR may be unhappy that they weren’t in these pictures (*says a silent prayer that it won’t be*) and I swear that wasn’t on purpose, you’ve GOT to believe me *pleads for forgiveness*!

Am I the only one that experiences this? Anyone else feels holes burned into their backs whenever they are walking away from their TBRs? Feels the crushing guilt that comes with having so many books that have gone unread and allowing their TBR to get so out of control that it may riot one day? As a mood reader, it’s really easy to see how this has happened, despite being excited about so many of the books that are in my TBRs (I do have some that I’ve been itching to get to and that’s not just my eczema)! I really hope I’m not alone in this bookish struggle, though I suspect that I’m not, knowing some of the people I follow on the ‘Gram! Anyone got some tips or tricks that would help me put my TBRs & fraying nerves at ease? I’m willing to try almost anythingggggggg *cries*!

Aiight y’all, I just felt like I needed a palate cleanse of a blog post and writing about my woes with my TBRs felt like the move. I am reading and taking each & every day one step at a time. I hope you are doing the same! For more bookish banter, feel free to find and follow me on all of the social medias: Instagram @bookishgirlmagic, Twitter @bookishgrlmagic and Clubhouse @bookishgrlmagic where you can typically find me in book centered clubs/rooms. As usual, I’m sending you all bookish love and wishing you all Happy Reading! Until the next post, BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!